3 Ways to Filter out Bad Advice

Recently I posted an article on not giving up your power to guru's. SDH followed up with some steps on how regular friends, even AFC's, can help each other attain their goals. In my post, lots of guys commented that getting advice from regular friends is a bad idea and, from their perspective, I completely agree. It's obvious. It is almost the same analogy as the Guru, taking full advice from one source is almost always a bad idea—except Guru's at least tend to know what they are talking about. The trick is to develop a filter for good advice. It comes down to knowing yourself.

It's ironic, but after I wrote that post, I got into a phone conversation with an old friend of mine, Nat, who is somewhat of a natural with women. I actually asked Nat "Hey, since you know me and you know how I am, what things do you think could work for me when meeting women" and he gave me some weird advice. He said to pretend I am a football player (you know I am "Big" Send after all) and that I play for my university's team. Honestly, I think that advice would work wonders but I don't want to lie like that. Flirting is cool, huge lies aren't. So, I told him "hey I'd rather not do that" and he just laughed and really stuck to his guns and kept trying to convince me.

Regular friends may not give the greatest advice. But at the same time, the seduction community gives analogous advice: fake it till you make it, use canned routines, use canned behaviors, etc. In the end, if I were to follow Nat's advice and really pull it off (just like pulling off some routine) I'd probably be getting laid like crazy! After all, I do look like a football player and I did play in high school, I am the quieter type, like a line-man waiting for the ball to be thrown. If I stand right, I can look pretty tough. So even though my friend wanted me to play off a lie, the fact is, I am almost 100% sure it would get me laid.

But I also know I wouldn't want to keep up that lie, nor would I want to even admit later that I am not a football player. It just feels way off. The main question is: how do you know when to filter out bad, or unusable, advice and when to just experiment? What is that balance? If we just ignore everything except what we want to hear, then we are putting our heads in the sand. If we follow ever person's advice to the T, we are giving away our power. Giving up your power will always lead to feeling like shit, desperate when the guru isn't there, and like a beta-male in general.

So here is my philosophy on filtering out good advice, or quality control if you will. I broke it down into 3 main steps:

#1, given all the marketing, "you don't get laid, I don't get paid" advertising, through all the outlandish advice like "pretend you are a football player," you MUST have in the back of your mind a feeling of discovering yourself. This is not something you tell your guru or friends, it is something that is for you personally. Whenever you get advice, and you think "hmmm I don't know, maybe it would work but I'm not sure" that is your cue to TRY it and DISCOVER if it is right for you in your life. After you try it once and you feel like there is something there, keep it up and try to make it work. Give yourself a few months of trying that thing till you can perfect it. If after a few months you don't get results, drop it.

However, if you hear something totally off, like "pretend you are on your college football team" and you know it would not fit you, just say "no" to it. Move on and look for an alternative. The seduction community talks about using Opinion Openers to break the ice—to me, this felt like a very intriguing idea. So, I tried it, I tried it for awhile. It kind of worked but was never too consistent for me, so there you go. I tried it but I didn't feel the idea of randomly asking someone's opinion fit my personality.

As an aside, Guru's would say "you need to keep practicing openers if they aren't working for you" or "just run more sets, bro!" type advice. In the end, if asking someone's opinion feels like something weird and dis-genuine, and you have tried it for a few months and gave it your all, then drop it. Move on. Honestly, if you move on to a different thing for 6 months, coming back to opinion-openers may suddenly work. Your subconscious may have worked through some of the kinks.

So, giving up on advice doesn't mean giving up forever. It means trying something else and dedicating yourself to that. One thing I recommend to people is: if openers don't seem to work for you, drop it for awhile. Other ways of meeting women include everything from joining social events at www.meetup.com or online dating or meeting new male friends, getting to know people in their social circle and meeting women warmly that way. But please!! Don't get sucked into some guru's "you have to keep trying and trying" when you know deep down the strategy is failing. It will fuck up your inner game. Starting something new is usually AMAZING for inner game, you get a feeling of adventure, of excitement, and hope that your goals will be more easily reached.

So that is #1.

#2 is always check yourself if this "advice" is aligned with your main goals. If your goal when joining the dating community was to find one girlfriend (which was my original goal), or date multiple women, or to learn how to please women, make sure you have that goal visible in your mind whenever you read new advice. For example, I got sucked into the "circles" reality of Stephane and Ideagasms. I really thought I wanted to have 3 girlfriends orbiting around me. Now, that sounds cool, but that is a HUGE life commitment and life change and involves all this religious spirituality, etc. Even Stephane admitted you need to "mastered the world" i.e., have a large passive income so you can afford things and spend time with your girlfriends. Anyway, starting a circle wasn't my original goal and for almost a year I was sucked into that reality. That is just me though, but I did learn many things from Stephane, such as how to stay grounded when with women and how to be loving (though I don't feel he teaches that stuff anymore, I would suggest Authentic Man Program for that, same great advice, much better packaging).

#3 check to see if the expert has your best interests in mind. Now, I totally understand if a guru is trying to build a legitimate career out of helping people in their personal development, and thus charges a fee. That is a noble career. However, needless to say there are marketing ninjas out there who's best interest is to confuse you, give you cool sounding, but vague advice. Back to Stephane, something he used to say was "Fuck your woman to God" and at the time it sounded very profound, but in truth I'm not even sure what he is talking about. He didn't go into more depth, he just said it. I figured it just meant "fuck her as hard as you can till she is almost dead and going back to god" I don't know. Haha, enough Stephane jabbing. Fact is, just ask yourself if the guru/person does have your best interests in mind. If your feel they do not have your interests in mind, chances are they are trying to draw you into their company and get you to buy all their products or something. Bad move.

I can recommend some great personal development companies that I feel do have your best interest in mind, including Authentic Man Program, although it takes awhile to understand what they mean. AMP does give their base product away for free, so that is always great. I feel Ryan from YangTown is a very solid guy also, even though he still endorses Steph, haha. I think Dave Riker in his Language and Conversations Course has your best interests in mind. Dr. Paul and his MindOS I feel has your best interests too. That is just a few.

Notice how I don't say "make sure the advice is from someone with a service guarantee, warranty, and 100 FastSeduction Lay Reports all on YouTube" That just limits you. If you follow those 3 steps, you will be exposed to the entire world of advice, armed with filters to keep your engines clean and powerful. You will filter all the bad information out, you will have a great time experimenting random things, you will have stories to tell about trying stupid shit and you will eventually FIND WHAT WORKS for you. Of course, give the person with 100 Lay Reports more precedence over some 15 year old giving out advice, but if you really develop #1, you will never take advice from an idiot or arm-chair-seducer. You will hear it, laugh and move on. However, when that random gem does come out, from wherever, you will pick up on it, you will see its quality, and you will improve drastically. SDH, for example, is NOT a guru from Mt. Pua. He is a regular guy with lots of life experience and I listened to his advice, gave it a few shots, and now I wound up in a pretty awesome dating situation with an awesome girlfriend. My #1 Goal accomplished.

So in Summary:

1. Gain a sense of DISCOVERY for yourself. Through knowing yourself, through knowing what absolutely won't for you, you will be able to ignore advice based on life experiences. However, if the advice sounds like it could maybe, possible help you, then try it and DISCOVER if it works.
2. Always make sure the advice you are reading are aligned with your main goals: career, dating, social, any goals. Make sure its not deterring you too far off course, or you may start to lose ground in this rough world we live in.
3. Make sure the person giving you advice has your best interests in mind. If you feel they do not, it's almost certain they are reeling you in to buy all their products and then you'll find yourself going around in a circle trying to accomplish #2, your goals.