A Crucial Ingredient, Often Overlooked

The missing ingredient is the right group of friends to help us along. I am writing this post as a part shout-out, part vital lesson of life. More often than not, the only people who can give you accurate and useful advice are your close friends and family, or someone who has known you for awhile and has a lot of experience. But, most importantly, no great speaker, guru, or figurehead can just look at you for 2 days, much less 5 minutes, and give you the kind of advice, the kind of direction catered to just you in your life.

Now don't get me wrong, I don't discount the amazing things said by Mystery, BradP, Style, all the way to Bandler, Dr. Paul, and even politicians such as Barack Obama or John McCain. All of these people have said some amazing things, and have keen ideas that can help all people. Mystery gave a solid guideline to courtship, for example. Richard Bandler developed very powerful techniques on changing a person's psychology. Dr. Paul integrated many loose ideas of self-help into one full model. Barack Obama and John McCain are stating economic ideas which may guide America to further prosperity.

However, there was a post on FastSeduction a long, long time ago from a guy who basically said "if a dating coach really wanted to help someone, they should just hang out with that student for a week (at least), chill with him, and afterwards give him the assessment." Moreover, after reading The Game, it seems like everyone who was exposed to, and lived with Mystery miraculously became some of the best pick up artists.

What I have clearly realized after making friends with SDH, and becoming closer friends with Kyle and Johnny, and also Ozzy and a few others, I have been given some keen, accurate advice that has directly impacted my life in amazing ways. For example, Ozzy pointed out to me a long time ago that being comfortable is a huge asset I have; I am a very comfortable, positive person with women (most of the time haha). Johnny mentioned that NLP* may work greatly in my favor, but at that time I wasn't listening close enough to my good friends. I was too busy working through things like Ideagasms, BradP's Structure, and such. Now, don't get me wrong, I learned a shit load from BradP and those gurus… but only recently, after talking to SDH actually, I realized the preciseness of my close friends' advice.

SDH basically told me what Johnny did, but he took the extra time to explain it to me in depth and explain why it could work for me. My basic personality is that of a chiller. Sure, I can laugh and be crazy, but my most consistent state is that of relaxation and "watching" things happen. So, in that sense, Ozzy was right. Comfort is a natural skill I have (another piece of advice I didn't work through at the time). SDH got me to check out Riker's NLP Language Program and that blew open the door for me. It was exactly what I needed, strong communication skills.

I started to think back through a lot of my experiences in dating and realized that Ozzy's insight was accurate. I also realized NLP could work miracles for me (and it has, my dating and social life is amazing right now). Basically, I dropped the 100% spirituality + affirmations diet. I dropped the "Be the Entertainer" approach. I dropped the Bisexual-girlfriend-only mantra. I embraced my natural comfort abilities, I embraced learning NLP, a skill that very closely matches my personality, and I embraced all my friends advice. Now, my social life is amazing, things are improving like crazy all around me, and although I am faced with numerous challenges, I don't feel like I need to learn some insanely hard, ill-fit skill to accomplish everything.

If you were to ask BradP, Mystery, Hypnotica, David Shade, or Ross Jeffries the question "How do you pick up a bartender?" they would all tell you a completely different answer, but have equal conviction and certainty for it. Now, why can't you or I have an answer that works for us and that we can say with equal conviction? Why them and not us? I'm going to put myself on the line here and say that any man can pick up a stripper if he knew exactly what works for him, individually. This implies finding that personal method. I can't say I have, but Mystery found his way and he is helping lots of guys in this arena. But just because Mystery's Method can do it doesn't necessarily mean it will work for everyone else even remotely.

Hypnotica had an AMAZING video on Mehow's Infield Insider where he picked up a hot girl in a club after buying her a drink, complimenting her, and doing all the anti-community rhetoric. Clearly, Hypnotica found what can work for him but I think the most important lesson there is the indirect fact that to-each-his-own. We need to find our own method.

My statement is this: only you and your closest, trusted friends and family can help you find "your method." Through the trusted advice, concern, love, and guidance of friends, all of whom have different life experiences you will gain more insight into yourself than almost anything else. It is your responsibility to make that friend feel comfortable giving you advice. It is also your responsibility to accurately judge if the advice is good or not and to take some action.

More on this stuff later, I am still working almost daily with SDH, along with Johnny and Kyle, about developments in my own life, from business to social. If you have any questions about how to find these great friends, how to bring stuff out of them, go ahead and leave comments—again I am working on this stuff myself with SDH so it will be a bit of a brain-storm. One thing to remember, potential amazing friends and mentors are literally all around you, especially now with the Internet.

*By NLP, he meant Speed Seduction. My main gripe with SS is that I feel it promotes guys to become Jedi's with Mind Tricks… guy's this is so far from the truth and is sad. NLP's seduction directive SS is about communicating very, very powerfully with women and enticing their imagination. Perhaps check out Dave Riker's NLP/SS Language program (my review).