Dave Riker's Language & Conversation Course

Okay here it is guys. I am laying down the soil and very excited to see the life which will grow.

Being in the dating community for over four years, I have seen many products. One trait I found in almost all the products is a hallow sense of information. That is, an entire eBook will contain one main theme and a bunch of shallow examples. I'd rather not slander those names, but recently I have come across a product which is overflowing with information.

It started off with my new friend and business partner SDH who approached me about ideas for the blog around the time I left blogger. I noticed this guy was an extremely effective talker. When he wanted to make a point, like me switching to Drupal instead of Wordpress (nerdy example, I know) or some of his pick up advice, I noticed he communicated it perfectly. I rarely misunderstood and the enthusiasm he had for each topic really rubbed off on me.

I wasn't sure what SDH was doing. I just thought he was a pro sales guy and pick up artist. It actually wasn't till a few weeks later when he brought up the rather controversial topic of Speed Seduction (SS) and Ross Jeffries that I got hints as to his skill set.

Now, I met Ross and I also met some of his students. Some of his students were really cool, but most I found were rather creepy. They would look at me like I was another opportunity to run a pattern. However, some of the most talented communicators, pick up artists, and teachers I have known were also students of SS. When I met Ross, he seemed to avoid looking in my eye and brushed me off almost instantly; that seemed to fall in line with the rumors about him. Perhaps his material is grand, innovative, and groundbreaking, but that wasn't the greatest first impression...

Anyway, I still haven't really checked out any of Ross's products, except for this Unstoppable Confidence tape and my friend let me borrow his Basic Course. That first course seemed pretty cool, but that Basic Course started off with a guy running a pattern on a woman. I didn't go for it at the time. So I didn't really dig into SS then.

Fast forward to now, my new friend SDH, and a different approach to SS. So I was thoroughly impressed with SDH's speaking style, it ability to keep me listening and excited about our business decisions. When he revealed to me he was a student of SS, I was a bit surprised since I automatically assume SS == Creepy unless you are a rare exception.

SDH went on to discuss Dave Riker, a different SS teacher. Riker, unlike Ross, teaches SS in a very linear manner. A big criticism of Ross, I have heard, is that his method makes nerdy, Star-Trek-fan students of his think they will gain Jedi Mind Tricks with his SS methods. Think of Obiwan in Star Wars when he says "These aren't the droids you are looking for. (Waves hand)"

Riker makes it very clear, over and over, that SS is not like that. It is not supposed to be like that. In fact, it does not even work if done like that. I am not sure if Ross intended for these rumors or this impression, but it kept me out of SS till now. Thanks Riker for extinguishing my false beliefs, haha.

Anyway, now starts the review:

I decided to check out Riker's specific language & conversation course. This course is meant for current SS students and it does come with warnings that you "must have worked through other Ross products before trying this." Honestly, I got a feeling Ross made a deal with Riker to write that warning he could use the SS Trademark in the product. While I think it is true, the language course should be for students who have had some experience, certainly you don't need more than passing knowledge of SS to get by. I think some experience in the general dating community would be a good starting point though. Listen to, or read some random promotional stuff on SS. An example of a pattern. A podcast. That will suffice. Just know the general background.

So, what I notice about this program is the entire length of it, underneath the lessons and exercises, is a pure example. Dave Riker is a dream to listen to; you are hanging off of every other word he says. To make it even better, he is literally teaching you exactly what he is doing, as he is doing it.

For example, he'll start listing things in a series "I'm glad you are listening to this course! As you sit there, listening to what I am saying you will find I am telling you a lot of information, but inside all the words I am actually gearing it towards your deep sub-conscious. The more you listen, the more your subconscious will understand the themes going on because I am speaking right to it."

Okay, I sort of riffed that last paragraph up on my own. Riker does say things like that all the time though. Now, in the above paragraph, I did list the ideas I wanted to communicate: this program has lots of examples and the method Riker uses to communicate those examples include the same concepts he is teaching about now. Moreover, those concepts are geared to speak to a person's sub-conscious, which is much more powerful than their surface level consciousness.

So which paragraph did you like more? The latter or the former? Forget that I used NLP methods or what-not. Which was funner to read? I think the former was better, it just flows better. The latter paragraph is a boring list; I might as well make it a bullet point list.

So the above is an example of pacing & leading, along with more-and-more listing. Pacing & leading is simply the concept of acknowledging the current reality—listening to an audio program—and then leading the person to where you want them to go—benefitting from the program. More-and-more is a technique very related to pacing and leading, but in this you use phrases like "the more you do XYZ, the more you get ABC." So, "The more you listen to this program, the more these concepts will sink into your subconscious."

So this fact obviously is true. The more you expose yourself to a concept, the more you will understand it. Duh, right? However, the wording used here is just very, very effective at communicating this point.

I do want to emphasize, NLP language techniques are just that, techniques. It's like English class. Don't think of this as pick up, or seduction. Think of it as taking a specialized course on the English language. Something so powerful, so specialized, and (unfortunately) so controversial—because of the non-pc seduction aspects to it—it will never been taught in a mainstream university or high school.

This is just English 101 baby! I am using these concepts daily at work and in my social life. I have been getting comments that it's been more exciting talking to me, more fun, and more interesting. I can't complain ;)

Another very powerful concept is how to use This, That, These, Those in you speech. "This" is a pronoun and an adjective meaning something related to your self. "That" is similar but it usually means something away from your self. These and Those are just plurals. Riker suggests, and with good reason, to use "This" or "These" when referring to positive, or good things, so to link it to yourself. And, use That or Those to refer to negative or bad things to make sure not to link it to your self.

At first, I kind of felt this sounded manipulative? But check out this example. Let's say you are talking about some bad topics in the news, like this new Russian & Georgian war. You want to communicate how terrible this fighting is, how it seems so needless, and that the Russians should have used more diplomacy before being aggressive (I don't know all the details on Russia and Georgia, but let's just say that is it).

Now, you could communicate those ideas saying "I can't stand this war
, why do these folks have to fight so much. Peace and diplomacy, that sounds so much better
."

The above is a totally fine way of making your point. Saying that to a close friend who knows you well is fine. However, if you are talking to someone knew, someone who is looking at you and, while listening to you, subconsciously trying to access who you are, may pick up on the times you say "this" and "these" and may be pointing to yourself. Subconsciously, they can't help but associate the negatives with you. It's just how the subconscious works.

However, if you said something like "I can't stand that war
, why do those folks have to fight so much? Peace and diplomacy would be so much better
." In this example, you did the opposite. In the last sentence, saying using "this" would be very unnatural so I chose to take it out. We aren't trying use these techniques. We simple use these language techniques where appropriate naturally.

Again, think of this course as an advanced course on English pronouns, adjectives, prepositions, etc. Except its taught by an exciting teacher, Dave Riker, who guides you through everything and keeps it all interesting and fun.

So I went over listing, pacing & leading, and how to use common pronouns. There is much more, including vocal inflection, how to order what you list, how to change conversations naturally, and even patterns.

As for patterns, for me as of now, I can't see myself using patterns unless I am deep into comfort and a relationship. I really can't see myself blatantly using a pattern unless it is very relevant.

As I allude to above, Riker is very much against memorizing patterns. He akins them to sport scrimmages and playing an actual sport game. You would never refuse playing a game unless guaranteed the exact scrimmage situation arises. No Way! You play the game the way you would naturally and if, in the off chance, a situation comes up in the game that matches the scrimmage, then go for it. Use the "patterns."

I do want to say, Riker's program goes into amazing depth in covering congruency, how to seem genuine and never creepy with these techniques, how to catch yourself when you are going too far with the techniques, and how to catch yourself when you are not using the techniques when you could be.

But there is a warning. Use this product if you are fairly analytical, or at least enjoy absorbing concepts in a step by step fashion. I notice with Juggler, the other more mainstream conversation teacher, he offers more general concepts, a general guideline to conversations, how to compliment. Well, Riker is very step-by-step. Very structured and very to-the-point. On top of that, he has an entire CD dedicated to examples. As of now, I prefer Riker.

I have to say, doing actual patters where you suddenly drop your voice, enter into your own world, and try to control everyone around you with the noises emitted form your throat is retarded. This is what kept me from really touching SS in all my time in the community. This program doesn't teach that. In fact, this program is against that. Like Jazz, this program is like studying the scales so when you are jamming live, you can riff and improvise easier and funner.

Personally, I don't see myself using a pattern like "imagine yourself eating this ice cream cone and the milk dripping of your tongue," at least I don't see myself saying that to a girl I just met. I do see myself taking a practical conversation, like talking about my friends, my work, my school, my favorite music, movies and when I am trying to make my point, I use listing, pacing & leading, phrases like "imagine" or "suppose" etc.

Here is something I have talked about with many friends: watching The Dark Knight on IMAX. I say things like "imagine watching scenes where batman is jumping off the skyscraper, but when he does it, the screen goes long and no matter where you look, up or down, you see batman falling. Then, as you see it, you almost feel like you are falling with him and all the effects and fire in the background just amplify the whole experience. Seeing Dark Knight on IMAX has been about the best theater experience in my life."

So anyway, if you have been apprehensive about SS like me, if you always thought it was creepy or too mind-control like, I suggest checking out Dave Riker first. You may be missing out on some of the most powerful outer game, language skills out there.

But, really think of it like English 101. Study it and practice it to get an A+ in the course. Don't think of it as "oh another PUA material to read through" these concepts can be used anywhere and I have learned more form this program alone than I did in almost all my high school and college English courses.

UPDATE

I wanted to add a quick update here. I was contemplating taking this post offline, but instead I wanted to mention this. I am really just starting on this NLP path right now. I am experimenting with it and very enthusiastic. Riker is a great teacher in this program (although he does not take emails and does not want to take on direct students anymore) but I felt my written enthusiasm and inspiration in this product kind of masks this review a bit. I am not very experienced with NLP, so take this review as a new guy jumping into a new thing with lots of excitement.

I do know that others have benefited greatly from this program and based on that, I am keeping up this review. I get lots of visitors here and I hope you all find this product amazing too. This is a very well done program and I am actually going through it again, but I am doing all the exercises very thoroughly.

So, with that said, if you are looking to buy it, look around for more sources from more experienced NLP guys. Perhaps ask people in your lair or in various online NLP/seduction forums.

If you are a reader and an experienced NLP practitioner, I invite you to write a comment here with your take on this product. It can be negative or positive. You can bash my review to shreds. Whatever you want, but I invite you to express your thoughts.

-BigSend