Getting a Blow Job in a Club Bathroom...

Candidly, this is the most dead-onl post I've seen, on the critical side, of the community. I asked Vybe (of the NY Lair) that question too. I pose it pretty regularly - how many guys have come through the community and found someone that they wanted to marry, and then married that woman? If not too many, why not?

I wonder if pickup artists are doing themselves more harm than good too.

My goals were, however, to learn to approach, to get laid more, and to have more selection of who I took home. I achieved every goal I set, but that means that at 33 I'm living with success as defined by my 27 year old self.

Now that I'm looking to date someone seriously, my skills aren't worth a whole lot, as the community teaches men how to get laid, but not how to be a mature partner in a relationship.

I think I'm the odd person because the last thing I want is to get married. I would like some long-lasting girlfriends, and be able to have a ton of choice in women throughout my entire life, but that's about it. But I believe your post is right on. A person MUST keep their personal goals/values in mind, otherwise you will get seduced by slick marketing. Too bad that what may be the very best stuff out there will almost never get reviewed because everyone's throwing their money at stuff with the best marketing; and most seduction stuff is NOT cheap.

Your point about focusing on what you really want, instead of getting sidetracked by the flashy marketing promos, is spot on. It's easy to get off track. We buy things out of insecurity, so they create the insecurity and then the cure - their product.

If, however, you have your goals clearly in mind, you can find some very good products to help you reach those goals. But it's good to at least be able to look at the ads and see how you're being manipulated, create some choice around it.

I would add that "getting a BJ in a club bathroom" doesn't make you any kind of an expert on seduction. If you go to enough clubs, stick around late enough, and prey on the drunk horny chicks, that fantasy can be your reality, but you won't be any closer to fulfillment.

I'm getting ready to write a "serious relationships aren't all they're cracked up to be" post. It's important to know what you're getting into when making life decisions.

http://thespgdiaries.blogspot.com

yes, great post. When I red the title my first thought was "Christ, another pua marketing ploy." There is so much fear based marketing out there that appeals to guy's egos. Their original goals become sidetracked by that part of them that wants the rock star, James bond type of lifestyle-majority of which wouldn't be any bit happier if they did get that Bj in the bathroom.

My favorite is the "how to pickup a stripper without pulling out your wallet" Girls who take off their clothes for money, who would give you a hand job for forty bucks, won't make your life any better. It's not a moral judgment or anything but these girls have a lot of issues and will be a pain in the ass. Strippers are seen as the holy grail of pickup

cheers

Alex

May way to Pick Up and Ideagasms (where I'm at now) started with my first break up. I wanted to understand why it all happened. I wanted to understand women. I was mAFC if that word exists :D

My first relationship advice book. It had some good points on how to handle an argument but it left me clueless. Too wussy advise.

Then I found the seduction comunity, MM, David D, The Game and stuff.

I evolved from mAFC to KJ. I learned how attraction works, I learned what being alpha means, taking the lead, openers, bitch shields and stuff.
Mainly behavoir, female psychology and stuff.
I skipped all routines, I don't like routines.

But it always felt so wrong to me. Pretend to be happy, pretend to be the coolest and smartest, pretend to don't care, playing mind tricks, make girls feel stupid...

At the same time I swor to myself no more girls until I know what is going wrong here in my life.

As I studied this stuff my image of women faded. They were no more these bright fary like creatures that inspired me and made me wonder. The beauty faded and I thought all this dark stuff like 'Women can't be loyal', 'women are addicted to drama', 'women are stupid and always go for the jerks' it made my heart sink. Like 'get real kid, women are evil if you don't play by the rules'.

My goal changed. I started to see the drama that was going on. Society smashed the image of the strong leader man, so men became very wussy and women very bitchy to make up for it. They kind of switched the roles.

I wanted to find a way to combine that Pick Up knowledge with relationship advise book stuff. That seemed impossible. To be strong, not wussy, but cincere and honest, loving, careing at the same time.

That was when I found Ideagasms, I felt home right away. The newsletters blew me away. It was like I found my home. 'Just love women. Love everything about them' and 'If you could see yourself through my eyes you would break down and cry' that was all you need to Pick Up. And at the same time be strong, don't take shit from them, know what you want.

Thats where I started to realize 'the world is your mirror' - Women always treated me like I would treat myself. I was to hard to myself. To needy. To much fear and many other things. I put her needs above my own. Always.

I've studied Ideagasms for 2 years I guess. My image of women shifted again, it became brighter. Not as fairy like but my heart opened again.

Ideagasms changed over time. The core was the same but it kind of drifted off too much to spirituality. Stephane changed aswell, the spirit of the first newsletters is gone but I still get a lot out of his teachings.

Now my goal is to work on my attitude, my fears, my believes. Mainly self improvement, motivation and the chakras. I stopped concern about women, I have a solid frame now, full of Love and compassion, when the time is right the women will flow into my life.

So I have kind of given up Pick Up if you want so. I belive you don't need it when you handle your life and have a solid attitude. Somewhere deep down in us we all know what to do when it comes to women.

Society kind of distracted us and Pick Up is a good way to get back your power to develop a solid attitude and to understand how attraction works. I learned what I wanted to know about attraction and I now work on my attitude with meditation. And I discovered spirituality for me wich is pretty cool.

So thank you Pick Up and seduction community, good luck you guys out there, may you find what you really need.